Hi there! I’m Shellie.
I got married because God led me to Stephen and put love in my heart for him. I fell in love and wanted to spend my life growing closer to my husband.
What I didn’t know—until God began showing me years later—was how to think strategically from a Biblical perspective, then work with God to daily transform my marriage.
Whether your marriage is new or old, thriving or almost dead, God can breathe life into every situation we give Him and has every answer we need.
Read more of my story ...
As a teenager, after watching my parents’ marriage disintegrate and living with the never-ending effects of divorce, I decided I never wanted to marry. Yet, God had a different plan for me. He brought a guy named Stephen into my life, and together they spent three and a half years convincing me to marry. I spent most of those years begging and daring God to show me how a marriage could actually work, without the two parties involved hurting each other so badly they wanted to walk away from the relationship. Ultimately, God confirmed His plan for me to marry Stephen.
I walked into married life deeply in love but terribly frightened. A marriage was the most emotionally dangerous place I could think of. And right off the bat—literally within the first two days of our honeymoon—I discovered areas of disconnect between me and Stephen.
I brought so much baggage to my marriage! (Stephen and I both did.) But earlier in my marriage, I didn’t recognize all the baggage I brought with me. I didn’t have a clue about how much the weak areas of my relationship with God negatively affected my marriage. I had little to no conflict resolution skills, rather, I’d learned unhealthy communication techniques while growing up. My sexual identity was very skewed because of abuse. And coping mechanisms I’d used in relationship with dysfunctional family members harmed my relationship with my husband. Stephen and I loved each other, but most areas of our marriage were a mess, and neither of us knew what to do to fix them.
After the birth of our second child—a baby born with a cleft palate and who had severe sleep apnea—I knew my energy, time, and attention would be stretched as never before. The tactics I was using to build our marriage weren’t working as I hoped, so I asked God to teach me the basics I didn’t know. He’s still teaching me stuff I don’t know! LOL
If God has ever taken valium, needed a coffee break, or even briefly considered retirement, I am probably the reason. I am relentless. I will not leave Him alone about growing me spiritually, about changing the way I think, behave, and handle my portion of my marriage. I’m worse than the kid who asks Why? I must also know How? When? And What exactly does that look like?
My favorite verse is Isaiah 1:18-19. Whoops, that’s two verses. Shellie’s paraphrase is "God will talk to me about anything—my sin, my confusion, my ignorance—when I approach Him with a willingness to change and be obedient in the future." I love knowing God isn’t offended by my questions, that He’s ready and willing to answer them.
During thirty-seven plus years of marriage I’ve asked a lot of questions. I love the opportunity to share His answers with you here! I hope you’re blessed by my books, podcast (coming soon), and other resources. Please pass them along to your friends.
One more thing. If you're here looking specifically for YOUR MARRIAGE resources, you've come to the right place. The content is here--or is being revised and will be offered again soon--just not under that name. See below. :-)
Remember, Jesus died to redeem every part of our lives. We can experience His redemption in every part
of our marriages.